Month: May 2016

Yours Truly! (6)

If you’ve landed on the story now, please do check out the previous parts of it, to know about Sandra and John!

The story now. . . .

As everyone had settled in their seats and their attention was away from me, I quietly got up from my seat. I needed answers and I was determined to have them now. As each day had passed, I had hoped that things would get better. But now it was beyond my level of patience.

As I stepped forward, I took a deep breath, unaware of what lay ahead of me.
John sat there, the phone cradled on his shoulder and he just fumbling Yes… Yes.. Yes.
Keep the phone down John! I said stiffly.
He looked at my face. Shocked.
I would know if there was really someone on the other side, I reminded him.

I looked into his eyes.
What was it, that his eyes kept asking me? What was it that he wanted me to tell him?
Our eyes met, engrossed in a silent conversation.

He slowly looked down and placed the handpiece down, breaking the communication link which our eyes had established.
Yes Sandra? he asked, his eyes on me, but not telling anything anymore.
What’s wrong John? I asked, my voice quivering with emotions.
What’s wrong? Nothing’s wrong! Everything is fine Sandra! he said in a flat voice.
No! Nothing’s fine, I said aloud, angered by his behavior.
Look at yourself, John! Do you look fine? I asked him, my voice thundering in the room.

He slowly looked away at the window.
I guess I got too busy with the details and plan for the tie up, he said in a casual manner rubbing his fingers on his chin.
Look at me and speak John, I hissed with annoyance.
His eyes moved to mine and suddenly I felt as though I had never seen those eyes. They were like some stranger’s, staring back at me. Unattached, uncaring.

I walked towards him, with his big brown ebony table lying between us. I rested my palms on it, bending towards him. The closer I moved to him, the clearer I saw.
He was lying outright. He wasn’t fine. Not at all.

John. Please. Tell me what’s wrong? I asked softly.
Nothing’s wrong Sandra. We got a lot to plan so I want to decide on the details before the meeting, he said, sounding like the cold and unattached boss of the company.
I need to work much harder now. Need to make the company get bigger and bigger.

John, something is wrong here. Something between us, I stated, sad that not only was he avoiding talking about it, he wasn’t realizing and accepting that something was wrong.

Between us? What is wrong? He stopped.
What is there between us? he continued in a stern voice.

There’s nothing? I asked, still not able to accept that this man, whom I had feelings for, couldn’t understand me or my feelings.

He stood up and walked towards the window, which he was staring at, some time back.

There’s nothing, John? I repeated in a broken voice. It took all the energy out of me to ask that to him again.

Silence lay between us. He had to answer me.

By the way, I think you could handle the guest list, he said with his back still towards the window.
You know all the contacts which are important for the company and some one big and special seems to be your silent admirer! He remarked, sarcasm hitting me as a blow, hard and tearing me apart.

So, this…this coldness and avoidance is because of that! Some one sends me a painting, which I never asked for and I have to suffer. What is so disturbing about it John that you haven’t spoken to me since that day? You didn’t even tell me about this big deal! I spoke trying to stop my voice from shaking.

Am I supposed to tell you everything? Am I answerable to you Sandra? He questioned in a voice that sucked the air out of my lungs.
Do you forget, that YOU are my secretary! His voice echoed in the room and in my ears.

Reality struck me hard. Like a lighning. No love, but not even a friend? What did I mean to him then?
I had been foolish to think it was because of the painting. He was so dedicated to his job, that I was nothing for him, this fact shined in front of my eyes, while I stared at his back.

My lips moved. Uncontrollably and started sputtering words.
Is this what I get….for being in….. I stopped myself just in time and a silent tear fell from my eye.

He didn’t even turn to look at me. No word came off our lips. The silence in that moment struck my heart with the sword of rejection. I was nothing. It was my own thought and belief that I was special for him. How wrong I had been, all this time!

I silently walked away, towards the door. Clutching the pieces of my heart, which had just been sliced, I held the door. I wiped the tears off my face, took a deep breath and stepped out of the room. Not a word he uttered. He didn’t care. This was evident now!

I walked back to my place. Everything seemed to be hazy around me. Everyone was excited for the meeting and the responsibilities they would be entrusted with. While my heart ached with the thought of sitting and seeing John again. I sat there silent till John left the office for a meeting and lunch with the client. He said it aloud as he left, not to me as he always did. A weak smile came upon my face, when I realized how minute was my existence in his life. My presence didn’t matter.

I opened my mail box, and clicked on Compose. I didn’t even think much, while I typed on.

I left my name at the end, and with a heavy sigh, I clicked on send. The mail was sent.

I picked up my bag and straightened up my skirt. I wasn’t a messy person, so all the things I used were in their right place. I kept the company ID card and the keys of the filing section in the top most drawer.

I stood though my legs felt like jelly. They seemed too weak to carry my heavy heart. I slowly looked at John’s office, my first job, my first office and my first love. This place had a lot of firsts for me.

I walked out of the door of the office. As I took the turn at the corner of the road, away from the office building, my tears came flooding. It wasn’t possible for me to control them. They kept streaming my face as I kept walking away. No word, no cry, just salty water falling on my skin and moving across to my chin. I wiped them away with the back of my hands.

Standing at the signal waiting for the pedestrian sign to flash at the crossroad, my heart craved to have just one last glance at John, but I knew it wasn’t going to happen anymore. I had been foolish to think that one day, he may realize my feelings for him.

I knew people would think I was mad to leave office like that. Irrational and immature to walk off because I was stupidly in love with my boss while he didn’t even think to share such a big news with me, at least as a friend. If I wasn’t worth sharing a professional achievement then what was my place in his life?

My brain said it loud and clear. You mean nothing! You’re worth nothing! You are nothing for him.

It may sound crazy or foolishness but I couldn’t think of being there and see him everyday. Pretend there was nothing in my heart for him. I couldn’t act unaffected when being unworthy in his eyes meant pain to me, my heart.

By the time he would see the mail I had sent, I’d be home. Probably in my room. No more with him. The more I thought of being away from him, the more it crushed my heart.

Opening the door of the house, I ran into my bedroom. I threw myself on the bed and cried. I cried and wished the feelings and pain would flush out of me, like those tears expelled from my eyes.

Mother never came in rushing whenever I would cry. She gave me some time to let the emotions run out. After nearly an hour passed, she walked into my room, with two cups of hot piping coffee. She kept them at the table near my bed and sat beside my head.

I crawled and placed my head on her lap. She passed her soft and loving fingers through my hair. Mom’s fingers had magic. All mothers have it. They calmed my mind and my cry turned to whimpers.
What happened Sandra? she asked worried about my state, Did John say something?

Mom knew my feelings for John. I couldn’t hide it from her, ’cause whenever I tried to do so, she would try to hook me up with some guy she knew. So I had to tell her. She was the only person who knew my secret!
That’s the whole problem, Mom! I cried.
Sit up girl! She said patting my cheek.

I slowly got up and sat with my head low. She handed me the cup of coffee and said, Let’s hear it out now!
I told her everything. From the time we met Martin, the painting and John’s behavior, concluding with the big news about the company.

I agree Sandra, it must have sent you in a shock when suddenly his attention was on work. Maybe he felt apprehensive to share his plans, fearing some sabotage, she sided with him.

Mom! You don’t know how he spoke to me. I am nothing for him. Though he means the world to me. You know that!! I said in a faltering voice.

I know it dear! But does he? Mom asked.
He doesn’t and now he never will! I said with determination.
What do you mean? Mother asked confused.

I mailed him my resignation letter! I announced, ready to listen to mother lecture about my madness, work ethics and professionalism.
Her eyes widened and she questioned, You did what?
I resigned Mom! I shouted and fell back on the pillows.
And the pain returned back, with the pieces of my broken heart, piercing my soul.


Finally it was crystal clear, John didn’t love me!

(P.S. Seems to be getting longer. Will try to end it sooner! 😯) 😅😅

Yours Truly (5)

If you happen to get onto this part of the story before reading the previous ones, do check them out here
Yours Truly (1)
Yours Truly (2)
Yours Truly (3)
Yours Truly (4)

And now the next part!

This was totally unexpected and uncalled for. I didn’t even imagine that such a thing could happen to me. What had a simple helping gesture gotten me into? Though I admired the painting beyond limits but somehow, its beauty wasn’t radiating awe or admiration now. It was just sitting there on my desk like a big mysterious piece of a jigsaw puzzle. What did this gift mean?

John was out of the office for a couple of hours. When he returned, he walked past me while I sat in my seat, having put the painting behind the table, completely out of his view. Something about painting or was it about Martin, seemed to annoy John and effected everything around him. When I called him to tell him about his appointments post lunch, he spoke in monosyllables.

As I sat quietly, the phone rang. It was John’s direct number. Some client of his, I thought. I took a deep breath and picked it up.

John’s office, I spoke in a secretarial voice, I had learned to master in this one year.
Is this Sandra? The voice on the other side asked.
Yes! How may I help you? I asked, wondering who would want to speak to me.
Mom and dad called me on the mobile and others never called me during office hours. Friends always called during the weekend to check out on me.
Quite an unexpected caller, this was!

Sandra! Martin here! The voice boomed in my ear.
Just not what I wanted!
Oh Martin! I said quietly. I didn’t want John to know I was speaking to someone whose presence made him dreadful, for some unknown reasons.
You don’t sound happy that I called! He said in a teasing tone.
God! Was it so easy to know what I was feeling!

Oh no! Nothing like that. I didn’t expect your call, I said trying to end the talk soon.
So? He asked, as though waiting for me to tell him something.
Confused what he wanted to know, I repeated the word.
Did you like it? He asked in a tremulous voice.
Like? I enquired, still not able to understand what he meant.
You didn’t get it? He asked surprise resonating in his voice.
Oh! I got it! Thanks but you shouldn’t have, I said, sounding unexcited even to myself. I sounded like an ungrateful person. It was something he valued, as it was engraved at the back of his visiting cards. Yet here I was showing no regard for it.

It is beautiful, I said.
Thanks! He replied softly.
You didn’t have to send it off to me! I said.
Only if he hadn’t!
Things would have been normal here, between John and me.

Well, you were really amazed at it and I wanted to give it to someone who would admire it, he explained, I’m glad I found someone who really deserves to keep it.

Thank you so much! I said.
Oh you needn’t thank me so much for it! Please consider it as a gift for your kindness last night, he said casually.
A silence fell between us and I hoped he would disconnect the call soon.
Can we meet up for coffee? he asked hope mingled in his voice.

Well, I am busy here at office and can’t move out unless it is weekend, I said trying to avoid any promises.
Yes. I know you’re at office. I didn’t have your mobile number so I called up here! he stated.
Hmm! I said, not speaking much, afraid that he would ask for the number.

Just then the phone rang at his side. Maybe he too was in his office.
God bless the caller.

OK then! See you soon! He said, in a hurry.
Sure! Good bye! I said and put back the phone before he had said bye.
Deciding firmly that I had to return the painting back to him, I had a look at it. I didn’t deserve it.

I didn’t want it!

John kept to himself the rest of the day. He didn’t call me when the client came in for the meeting, he didn’t ask me to come in and take down any points or terms for the agreements to be typed. When the clock struck three, as per the routine, I took in his cup of coffee.

I knocked and entered in the room. He was holding the phone to his ear. I knew he was speaking to no one. All his calls passed through me to him. I placed the coffee in front of him and left. He was avoiding me. Why was he behaving this way?
I hadn’t asked Martin for the painting!

The day ended with the same gloominess between us. He was not very chatty with the others usually and neither was he angry as he had been in the morning, so everyone felt that he was no more hostile, just silent as always. But I knew it wasn’t normal, or a usual thing. He avoided looking me in the eyes. It astonished me more when for the first time since he had joined the office, he left before everyone. He was always the last. After I had joined, it had been both of us, together. Today, I was left back!

As Tuesday dawned, the uneasiness continued between us. I felt he was over reacting and being too foolish to take just a small gesture out of context. It was just a painting after all. To avoid any reaction from him or the other colleagues at work, I took the painting home. I kept it in the living room, in mother’s house. She liked it, and said I could hang it till I decided what to do about it. I decided to talk to Martin first and then hand it over back to him.

I didn’t want the painting in the house. It was beautiful but some how it made me restless. It made me think of Martin and John. It brought me memories of that night at the party, it made me ponder over the difference in the ways Martin and John behaved towards me. What was I thinking? What was this supposed to mean? This was just a friendly gesture, wasn’t it?

As the week dragged to Wednesday, nothing between us changed. Rather he turned cold and distanced from all of us. Except orders nothing came from him. No hi-hello, no cordial greetings. Just orders and filing work for me.
Rather he stayed out most of the time. He was keeping himself occupied with the new client and that was bothering me. I had no idea where he was, the max he told me on the phone was – out with an important client and not to be disturbed. Inspite of being in the same office, we both were in two different worlds.

He was silently avoiding me and it broke my heart. Knowing he wasn’t ready and unaware of my love, was different but to be left alone was painful. Made me feel abandoned, the worst kind of feeling. Though my heart always broke when some woman would throw herself at him, I knew he wouldn’t take a rational step and use her to his advantage. Somehow, here I felt, he wasn’t trusting me. Did he feel I was interested in Martin? The question gave birth to another one. Was he concerned if I was?

Thursday came. Same morning and same old files and desk. With nothing to type or file in the cabinet. I was checking on the company mails. I rarely did this, as most of the things were told verbally to me by John. But these days, we hadn’t even spoke a complete sentence to each another. Suddenly a red spot blinked on the Inbox folder. A mail had come in. From John. Wondering what it could be, I dragged the cursor to it and clicked it open.

My heart jumped with joy. It was a mail which he had forwarded to all in the office. An invitation for the press meet where one of the clients was announcing a five year contract with our company. A tie up. The huge opportunity than John had always waited for. As one by one everyone clicked open the mails, the office echoed with the joyous shouts. They all collected and walked over to me.

Wow Sandra!
That’s big news!
Why didn’t you tell us?
Quite a secret you both had kept!
They spoke collectively.

I realized now why he was so busy these days. Those long hours outside, those long meetings and busy schedule he kept. Was that why he was being so indifferent?
As the news sunk in. I was startled when the thought struck me.
We both?
No! I was not part of it at all. He hadn’t told me too!
John didn’t tell me such an important thing.

The aloofness of his had hurt me, and he had deepened the wound with this. A lump rose in my heart and tears started forming in the eyes. I was scared it would fall and everyone would be asking me questions. To which I had no answers.

Just then the door opened and John stepped out.

I was surprised to see him stand there. It was the first time after Monday’s lunch, that he stood completely in my view.
He wasn’t as he would always be. Unkempt hair replaced his gelled hair, stubble covered his chin which he kept shaved everyday, his eyes were tired and sad. As a matter of fact, he was in a mess.

He had been avoiding me at lunch, leaving office and returning after the lunch break. Coming after me and rushing into his office with the mobile tucked between his shoulder and chin. As though busy in some important call. I hadn’t been able to see him properly until now.

He came out and stood with all the workers gathered in the middle. I stood behind my desk, a little far. I could see him and hear him but I didn’t feel like going in that group. His eyes moved around and settled on mine as congratulatory messages were echoing in the office. There was a sadness in his eyes instead of the spark which they had when he accomplished something. He stood there, the man in charge with a reason to celebrate but he looked powerless and lonely. What was happening to him?

As the party was organized to announce the tie up, we were to co-host it. To delegate work before the event, he asked us to collect in the meeting hall after lunch. There was still about an hour left.

All slowly dispersed away. Occupying their seats, all smiles and proud of being part of the company, progressing towards its goals. There was talk about promotions, bonus, salary hikes and excitement in the air.
But somehow I felt distraught. Why? Why was I being treated as just another employee? Was I just that for him? He always treated me as a friend first and then as secretary. But had the dynamics between us changed? And why?

I needed answers. And I needed them now.

(P.S. Looks like there will be more to come! Keep reading! 😂)

Yours Truly (4)

Check out part 1, 2 and 3 before you move ahead!

The night went off well after that. Surprisingly, John didn’t leave my side even once, and avoided any talk with the beautiful women in the party.

Martin talked about how he found these parties superficial, with loads of unwanted gossips and just showing off in front of the counterparts. John listened to him intently. While Martin spoke my eyes were fixed at him, but whenever I glanced at John, I found him looking at me. I’d smile and look away.

Something was queer in his behavior and his eyes tonight. I was having a nice time. Martin not only had drop-dead gorgeous looks, he had a nice humor. His witty sentences and keen observations were impressive. I was enjoying his company. Here I was tonight, making a friend in these unbearable socialites.

When it was nearing midnight, and we had had our dinner and talked much longer than anticipated, John suggested, we should leave. He always asked, and he always knew my answer would be yes. But tonight the tone of his question seemed like he was unsure about my reply.

Oh yes! It is getting quite late. I have to be back at office tomorrow morning! I said as I slowly got up from the stool near the bar where we had been sitting.

Would you mind staying a little longer, Sandra? Martin asked slowly as his fingers moved along the rim of the glass from which he was drinking. He was moving the fingers, feeling the outlines of the object in front of him.

I think I should be leaving! I said, seeing John’s jaw set firmly as though he were trying to control his words.

Never seen him so cranky. He was always the calm and composed, but tonight I felt as if he had been left imbalanced by something. Wonder what it was!

Slowly Martin got up and walked along us.

Is he coming home too? I heard John ask no one in particular. It was a whisper, as the skin on his forehead formed lines and his eye brow raised in question.

I turned at him and he shrugged, pretending innocence, but I had heard his voice and knew it was a sarcasm fit he got into, once in a while.

It was amazing with you two tonight! I would love to meet you again, said Martin as we neared the car.

I smiled at him, wondering what he was struggling to find in his pocket. His right hand was in the pocket of his coat and his fingers moved in there, very hastily.

Here’s my card. Let’s have a luncheon or dinner together some day! He said holding his visiting card which his right hand had found in the coat’s pocket.

Though John stood in front of him, Martin’s hand with the card was outstretched towards me. John stood in the middle, watching the card laid out in front. I looked at him, hoping he would take it. But he did no such thing. His eyes darting between me and Martin.

Thank you! I said and quickly moved closer, for it looked queer, that we both weren’t touching it as though it were a hot piece of coal.

Let’s see when we can meet up! I said as I took the card.

Martin Taylor
Executive Director at Taylor & Sons Inc.

His name, his position and then were his phone number. Feeling a ridge at the back of the card, I turned it over. Behind it was the photograph of the rare scene of two rainbows engraved. I had seen rainbow in real just twice and both times I was amazed at it. Below the rainbow, written in small print was: Martin. It was just a small scribbling of the name at the corner of the card. The way painters sign on their canvas after completing their creation.

John was already at the door of the car, he unlocked the doors with his automatic key.

You drew this? I asked completely amazed by the colors of the rainbow, embossed behind the card.

You like it? He asked, without answering my question.

Of course it is beautiful! I replied, my eyes wide, mesmerized by the little painting.

Silence prevailed as I kept my eyes on the card, unaware that John was in the car and Martin stood before me.

Sandra! John’s voice boomed in the place.
Let us go! He said impatiently.

I slowly opened the door of the car and sat in. Still holding the card tightly in my hand, I waved him while he kept looking at the car leave from the place. He stood there till we had moved out of the gate.

The drive was always something we enjoyed after the party. We would laugh at the different things we heard and saw. We would joke about which girl was making the most advances and who was falling on John, head and heels!

But not tonight. John drove in silence, not a word was spoken by him. I was so lost in those rainbows and the colors that I didn’t really realize that we were already half way.

How foolish! I heard John’s voice break the silence.
I looked up at him. He pointed out to the card in my hand, as though I held some piece of trash.

What’s wrong? What’s foolish, John? I asked baffled by his comment.

A visiting card with a painting at the back! That’s foolish, he mumbled, distaste clear in his tone.

Foolish?? I asked surprised. It is beautiful, I exclaimed looking back at it with awe.

He looked at me as though I had grown snakes in place of my hair.
Cmon Sandra! Who gets a miniature painting done at the back of a visiting card? He remarked whimsically. I hadn’t shown it to him but he knew it already.
Keen observant! Lawyers!

I kind of liked it John, I said slowly. Not pleased by John’s reaction and words, I slowly tucked the card in my purse. The rest of the journey back home was contrary to what we always had. It was a silent and cold ride.

John was a serious guy. Why would he like paintings and such stuff! I thought to myself as I slept that night.

The next morning, at work, things between John and me weren’t going as usual. He was being forgetful, asking me again and again for the same things. He kept finding faults in the memos and documents I typed, he canceled his appointments, and sat silently in his office. Anyone could feel the atmosphere in the office was tense. We all concluded that may be a big client had withdrawn some case or John was tweaked up for some important case he was preparing for. But no one was ready to bell the cat, ermmm ask him what was wrong.

By the time it was lunch, it was getting unbearable to see John shouting and annoyed at everyone. Before leaving for lunch, all of them collected at my desk.

Sandra, what’s wrong?
Why is he behaving like this?
What’s gotten into him?
What happened?
Everyone had the same questions, and so did I.

Please Sandra, talk to him.
You can help it out dear.
It is torture today!
Maybe he will tell you.
Why don’t you try!
They all kept telling and cajoled me into agreeing to find out what was wrong today with John.

I stepped into his room slowly, and started arranging the side table with the lunch I had asked one of my colleagues to get. Two veg burgers with a big pack of French fries, and two cans of Pepsi.

Whose having a party here? John said sternly as he saw me taking the things out of the bag.
You and I! I replied slowly.
What are we celebrating Sandra? He asked as though it was really a party we both were having.
Come and eat John, I said, not paying attention to his question or his temper.

He silently came and sat on the opposite chair. He slowly rolled up his sleeves and sat there drumming his fingers on the table.
I placed the soft drink and burger before him and lifted the burger to my lips. As I bit it, I saw John looking at me intently.
Now what! Eat it! I remarked pointing towards the hot spicy burger that lay before him.
He smiled. The first smile of the day. Good progress, I patted my back in my thoughts.

He picked it up, unwrapped it slowly and started eating. Glad at my achievement, my heart flashed a victory sign to my mind!

Though he was looking as breath taking as everyday, today his anger and mood had changed him into a fire breathing dragon. He was eating now like a hungry dragon, the fire could erupt out of that little mouth of his anytime. Observing him silently, I thought to myself and a giggle disturbed the silence of the room.
His eyes moved to mine, questioning me. I nodded my head and kept eating.
I had to control my imagination.

When we were done eating and were left with the last sips of Pepsi, the office guard knocked on the door. When he entered, he announced, A parcel has been delivered for Miss Sandra.
Shall I keep it at your desk ma’am? He asked not wasting a breath in between.

For me? I asked, confused. I didn’t order anything.
John looked at me and was equally lost.
From whom? John asked the guard.
I don’t know sir. The delivery man said it was for her and left.
Bring it here then! John ordered.
The guard left and we both were left anxious, waiting to know who had sent it, for me.

I saw a big flat piece in his hand. When he gave it to me, I saw that it was quite a big box, the size written on the sticker of FedEx as 16×20, rectangular in shape. Not heavy though. Neither did it move around in the box.

The guard left us. John went towards his table and brought out a small knife, which he often used for cutting open envelopes or packages. There was no name on the cover except mine and the address of the office.
I slowly passed the blade across the edge of the box and opened it. Inside was a frame kept upside down.
Wondering who would send me a frame, I picked it up and turned it around.

A gasp was what came out of my mouth.

The same rainbows were right there in front of my eyes, bigger than the ones I saw last night.
The sign now larger, at the end of the canvas.
The beauty of nature, set in a golden frame of carvings of flowers and leaves.
At the top right hand corner of the frame was a slip of paper attached. I pulled it off slowly and read it to myself.

Shocked out of my senses, I stood there silent.
John walked up to me, he knew the painting too. He knew the sender too.
Yet, to confirm his doubts, he slowly took the slip of paper from my hand and read it. I turned to look at him, I called out his name, but he made a swift move and was out of the door. He left me there standing, alone and bewildered! The small piece of paper, lying on the floor, looking back at me. The message was small in beautiful hand-writing:

Sandra – the most beautiful woman I’ve met!

P.S. Oh dear! Where is this going? I have a problem here now! 😕
John or Martin?
Love at first sight or Hidden and unspoken Love?
Who gets the vote? 😮😮


Broken Face (Inspired Poetry)

The time has come again, for me to be amused by my muse 😋;)
This one is inspired by Sarah’s sketch titled Broken Face – you should see the sketch to have a better idea behind my poem.
Please have a look at her blog and her beautiful sketches! 😄💜

They broke my wings,
Left me incapable of flying,
Yet when they desired a display,
They demanded, I should soar high!

They broke my heart,
And let me cry over its pieces,
But when they ordered,
I had to hide those tears inside.

They broke my spirit
Leaving me distraught.
No mercy I expected off them
And they didn’t disappoint.

With every piece of mine that fell,
I crumbled like a damaged figurine.
The only part left of me now, which you behold,
Are the sealed lips, enclosing veiled mysteries of my life.


Yours Truly (3)

In case you’ve missed, here’s part 1 and Part 2.

This is now part 3!

And since then, as a friend, I always accompanied John to these official parties. It wasn’t because of my job, but because he asked it as a friend. Standing beside him, in his shadows, in the centre, I was his accomplice. It was a silent deal, I help him in his lie that I was the girl in his life. Sometimes I hated pretending, while all along I had dreamt to be that girl. If only he would see beyond and let me be the one.

Agreeing to accompany also had a selfish motive. I was the person with whom he spent most of his time. I was content with the little that came my way. And in return I always had to save his arms from unwanted baggages. And I loved it. The arched eyebrows when he walked up to me, leaving those rich and beautiful women, gave me a sense of pride. I felt like Cinderella garnering the attention of the Prince.

As I walked towards the banquet hall, a group of men were walking in my direction. They were talking aloud and probably were drunk. One of them, literally dashed into me, his shoulders hit me hard like a wall and sent me off balance. The heel of my shoe made me slip and I was prepared for a fall.

Suddenly a hand came from nowhere and grasped my helpless, flailing hand. Another hand was around my back. A warm one on the exposed skin of my back. Before I could realize, the hand pulled strongly and brought me to position.

Before me stood, a tall man, tanned skin with brown eyes. Wearing a black suit, with white shirt, he looked like some model out of those Men’s magazines. I was so awestruck that I didn’t realize that I was staring foolishly at him. And then his lips moved, slowly curving into a smile, which showed the perfect set of teeth.

I’m sorry ma’am! he said.
Oh!! No, I don’t think it’s your fault.
Really! I should have seen you, but we were so lost in our talks… I really apologize, he spoke in a panicked voice. I hope you aren’t hurt! He continued.
No! No! I’m fine, I replied though my shoulder ached like hell.

The men from the hall way called out to him, he shouted back to them, that he would join them soon.

Can I have a drink with you? He suddenly asked.
My eyes must have brightened up like glowworms, for his smile turned into a grin.
No, not outside. Maybe just a little time inside. With all these people.

Mmmmm, I didn’t know what to say.
Well, my father sent me here. I don’t know even a single soul here. So I brought along a few friends and they seem to have had a lot to drink. I was hoping that with you, I could know a few people around, he smiled again.

I didn’t know what to say. He stretched out his hand with his palm upward. I slowly laid mine in it and he lead me back into the hall.

The first thing that crossed my mind was to introduce him to John. He would handle there on, I felt.
The moment I walked inside the hall, my eyes looked around for John. He was standing with some other lawyers. When his eyes fell on me, he smiled. His eyes traced down my hand and when he saw it in the new guy’s hand, I found a strange expression cross his face.

His eyes questioned me, what, I never could know. With a nod of my head, I beckoned him to come forth. I felt I needed him to save me.

Now I understood why he insisted that I come along. People here just don’t listen to you. They believe they are so important that they can thrust their company on you and you should be grateful about it.
As he walked closer to me, I felt strange vibes emanating from John. Something turning warm and cold, alternatively as though questioning me and then himself.
When he was standing in front of me, I knew I was safe now.
Sandra, you seem to have found some good friend of yours! He sneered at me.
Completely unexpected from him!!
Was he out of his mind? I never had friends here. He knew that.
Oh no! We just met in the hall way. I had literally toppled her. But the kind lady agreed to spend some time with me, the tall guy spoke.
Oh dear! Are you hurt? John asked, this seemed really genuine concern.
She assured me she isn’t, the tall guy again.

Are these men going to talk about me as though I was some China doll? Men!
I rolled my eyes. John saw me doing and a smile spread on his face.
Anyways, the lady is fine, I believe, John said. I’m John Strauss, he said stretching his hand out for the tall guy.

As he left my hand for the handshake, I slipped towards John and slid my arm in his.

Martin Taylor, he replied.
Nice to meet you Martin, John said with an air of victory, as he glanced at me by his side.

Suddenly I felt like I was the bone of contention here and it irked me. I was happy that he was concerned when my hand was in new ones, but certainly I wasn’t his trophy either.

Why don’t you join us? I said with a smile.
John’s face turned a slight pale.
Martin smiled broadly and said, I’d love to!
Holding John’s arm, talking to Martin, I walked towards the table when everyone sat for dinner.

No one here needed to answer anything for me! John wasn’t interested but what’s wrong in enjoying a little attention if someone shows interest in you!

I told myself and the smile stayed on my face, for the rest of the night!

(Should this be continued? 😮😮 Tell me!!)

Beyond the horizon

Sharing with you today, the poem of mine which was published on The Oak Wheel.

Beyond the horizon!


Far across the meadows,
Crossing over fences and brooks
I tread over rock and sand
And desire to cross my threshold.

Looking at those meek birds 
Fly high soaring in the sky
I see them rising steadily
Uncaged and breathing in freedom.

The step I plan to take now
Will change the course of my life.
If I stay within the boundaries,
I’ll stay confined, all my life.

I crossed it, aware of the consequences,
Unaware about where it will lead,
I need to see further, widen the scope of my vision,
Reach for the sky and stars, lying beyond the horizon.


Nature’s wrath.

The last couple of days, have been quite strange. Readying things for my children for the upcoming academic year has kept me too busy. With new books and the task of covering them with brown sheets, taking up my energies, I was exhausted.

My reading was also going slow. Finally today I did finish reading Inferno. Next might be one from the Alex Cross series by James Patterson or maybe as Lion and Sarah suggested, a book of Dean Koontz.

If you have read Inferno by Dan Brown, you might remember a line in it which implies, “Nature has its own ways of culling the population which is growing at an alarming rate.”

The main context of the book is about fanatic approach of few who believe what they think and do is right, the majority’s denial of the fact that humans might just reach a stage of extinction, the advances made in science and technology, especially genetic engineering and depopulation!

You wonder why I am saying this??

Well, today as I crept towards the end of the book, I happened to see a few pictures on the internet. And I realized how nature is unpredictable.

We were at home yesterday when strong winds blew, there was dust all around. And then it started raining. It rained heavily and there was electricity power cut for hours. We really weren’t aware of the extent of damage done by the winds, rather gales that wrecked havoc in the city! You can have a look here!







And these are just a few moving around on social media. As per the newspaper today morning, about 197 to 200 trees were uprooted! Electric poles and hoardings were dislodged.

So in case I don’t seem to be around, just pray that we all are kept safe.

May the Lord save and protect us, forgive us for our countless sins and have mercy on us!

Take care!
Love and best wishes!