Month: April 2016

Strength of my love. . . (2)

It has been quite late, but I wasn’t just in a condition to pen it down!
You can read the first part here if you haven’t, the rest begins now!!

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Seeing Hazel head over heels lost in her talks and the proximity with Ron, made my breathing harder. It was suffocating to be there in the same room, under one roof, and see my Hazel change into a lovelorn maiden. She was totally besotted with him, as she sat linking her arm with his. The sparkle in her eyes, the blushing color of her cheeks, how much I admired and loved those things, yet tonight they gave me pain. Unbearable pain.

I got up to leave. I couldn’t bear this happening before my eyes.
Flynn!! Her soft voice called out my name.
I turned and saw her beaming. Her happiness was so evident.
Hazel, I said turning towards her, I want to go. Are you coming? I knew her answer yet I asked.
Her smile was fixed on her face, as she shook her head, declaring a NO!
I will see you tomorrow, then! Take care. See ya. Good night Flynn. And just like that,she let me go. Her face turned back to Ron. I felt as though I had just disappeared from her world. Probably for ever.

I started to walk back home. An excruciating pain within my chest. I wanted to shout and scream and take it out from my chest. But I couldn’t. I wasn’t even able to tell her good night. Words got stuck in my throat. My jaws wouldn’t open. A lump rose in my throat, choking me. My eyes welled up.

And then a tear fell from my right eye. Then one from the left. There were tears that seem to fill my eyes, but before they fell, there were more tears falling from the sky. The clouds were with me, in my pain. Their drops covered my face, and my tears flowed out with them. Mingling and dissolving in them. I sat there and cried as long as it rained.

When I was exhausted enough, I went home. Luckily all were asleep, so no questions were asked. I entered my room. Sometime back, this place was bubbling with life. Now, there was only gloominess. As I stood under the shower and let the water droplets drench my body, my eyes saw it as an opportunity and were ready with more tears.

After I changed and lay on the bed, I looked at my phone, which I had forgotten to take to the pub. It was blinking with a notification. A message had come.
It was from Hazel. I didn’t know if I should read it or not. I read it. It was habit.
Flynn! How is he? Do you like him? C ya tom! H

What should I have told her? Could I ever like him? Ever? Throughout my life?
I ignored it and closed my eyes. In the darkness, I saw her face. With open eyes, I was reminded of her. With more tears to wet my pillow, with thoughts of pain and sorrow, with a broken heart, I didn’t even realize when I fell asleep.

The days that followed, brought in many more changes. Hazel slowly drifted away from me, and I was glad about it. She asked me every time to join her in the parties and outings, but I didn’t want to see again, what I had seen that night. She messaged me more, and every time she had things to ask or tell. She had met him through Facebook. She hadn’t told me as she knew I would disapprove of it. I never asked beyond that, neither did she say.

She’d ask what she should wear for a dinner with him, or a party. She would snap a selfie and send it to me, and ask how she was looking. Each time I saw those eyes and that face, pieces of my heart got scattered. The rest of the time went in recollecting them back, with silent cries within. With each passing day my pain increased and their relationship seemed to grow.

A fortnight passed, the frequency of messages reduced. I had applied for a job as an accountant, in the other town. I wanted to just go away. Run away from those memories and the person herself. I couldn’t bear being in the same place where we had shared beautiful times and see Hazel replace me with Ron as she created new moments.

Though it was a two hour drive from our town, I preferred to stay there and took up a room near the office. My whole life had one goal now and that was to give myself no time to think of Hazel. But how could I remove her from myself. How could I erase her from my memories? How could I get rid of her face that haunted me day and night? How could I?
I knew, I never could.

The first week was a hectic one with lots of instructions and details to be explained and understood. The second went in trying to get into serious business.
Hazel called, and I had a lot of reasons to ignore her calls or messages. Later I would just send her a message that I was too busy. If she insisted, I’d say that I was too tired and had to sleep early.
The third passed and so did the fourth. But her calls came, in the same way. Selfies she sent, voice messages flooded my phone. Messages were there, which I deleted, unread. I wanted her to just forget me. So that I could keep her away from my thoughts.

By and by, I kept myself drowned in work. It earned me good reputation, positive remarks and trust of my bosses. The second month began and things were slowly smoothening down for me. I was able to make new friends.

Hazel’s messages were always there. She was angry sometimes, lonely as she’d said, she missed her friend. Just what I didn’t want.

Then one day, when the second month was coming to an end, my phone rang, it showed a call coming from an unknown number. I was surprised. I rarely received any calls or messages, except from home and Hazel. I picked it up.
The first sound was of cries. A girl’s cries. She was sobbing and breathless. And then she said, Flynn!!
In that instant I knew who it was.

Hazel, what happened? Where are you? Why are you crying? I kept asking, with every beat of my heart. Thousand thoughts ran in my mind. Scores of emotions wrestled in my heart.

Hazel, where are you! Just tell me! I screamed into the phone.
I’m at the railway station. She spoke between breaths.
Which railway station? I asked her impatient.
In your town! She replied, softly.

I was taken aback. What???? You’re here? Why?? What happened?
She didn’t tell a word and I knew she was ready to cry again.
Just stay there. I’ll be there in about ten minutes. I assured her and locked my desk filling it with the papers I was working on. I told the clerk about an emergency and I ran.

Entrusting my legs with the responsibility of making me reach the station as soon as they could, I ran. Breathless and ache raging in my legs, I reached the station. I looked left and right. There were so many people but not the one I came for.

Just then, my eyes fell on a girl, sitting on a wooden bench. Her shoulders showed she was breathing heavily. Something after one has cried for a long time. I started walking towards her. She was wearing a black skirt and a white frilly top. The bow on her white shoes told me, she was exactly the person I was here for.

Hazel!! I called out softly, just for my ears. But just then she turned and looked at me. I stopped there as though turned to stone. She was so different today.

Tears rolling down her face. Puffed eyes, colored red. She rose from her place and walked a few steps.

When I saw her come towards me, staggering and pale, I was struck with a pain in the chest. This young girl, a couple of months back was the epitome of mischief and beauty. She was the only friend I had, and destiny had taken her away from me.

Suddenly she stopped. It was a second or two, and before I realized, she picked up the folds of her black skirt and ran towards me. The next moment she was in my arms. Crying and calling out my name.

I put my hand in her brown hair and rested my chin on her head. She perfectly fit in my embrace and stayed there.
What happened Hazel? What are you doing here? I murmured softly to her.
I came for you Flynn. She replied.

But why? Has anything happened? I asked with concern about her.
I had to Flynn. I just had to. She mumbled.
Why? What’s brought you here? Did Ron do something? Now I was filled with anger. Did he do something to her?

Yes. He did it. She said softly.
My fists clenched with anger. The fury within me rose like fire.
What did he do? I asked hissing, and grinding my teeth.
He opened my eyes. She said, her head still on my shoulder.

Totally confused about what she was saying, I pulled her from my shoulder. I moved the hair on her face and wiped the little pearls of water that were on her cheek.

What is it Hazel? Come! Let’s sit and talk. Let me get some water for you! I tried to pull her back to make her sit.

No Flynn! I’ve got to do it here and now. Just now! Saying that she raised her hazel colored eyes to mine.

Ron opened my eyes. I was so blind to run behind love while love was always by my side. When I was with him, I only spoke of you. When I felt a prick of a thorn, I called out your name. When I stumbled upon a rock, you know how often I do it, I wished you were there to catch me. When I walked into a party or pub, I missed the warmth of your arms, which made me feel safe. The more days passed, the more my pain grew. It became unbearable for me. And it was Ron who removed the blindfold off my eyes. He said, love is when there is longing, there is care, there is missing, there is pain, and there is completeness.

My ears were ringing. I was sure I had lost my mind and was imagining, seeing and hearing things. Maybe my wishes and desires were making me dream all of this.

Probably my facial expression gave away my thoughts and so she pressed my hands softly.
Her right hand rose to my left cheek, and she caressed my skin. Her soft hands today were different in their touch. And then she said the words, which I thought I’d never hear in my life,

You give me the feeling of completeness Flynn. I never realized but now I know for sure, that I love you. And I promise to love you always. Forever. Till the last beat of my heart. Don’t tell me now, that you don’t love me! I’d die in pain.

I reached for her hand, still on my jawline. And I kissed it softly. My heart bursting with joy and love, my voice shaky with sudden emotions, I spoke,
I can’t tell that Hazel. For as long as I can go back in my memories, I’ve always loved you! Always! I couldn’t see you with Ron, so I came here. And I never thought he’d be the one to unite us.I’ll always be indebted to him. (Pause) I have always loved you, beautiful.

She fell into my arms, calling my name softly.
Slowly she raised her head, her eyes met mine. Finally I saw that glint,that sparkle in them, which I had wished to see. How beautiful it was! I felt that it was different from what it was that night, for Ron.

It has been like that since that day. Rather, it just got brighter and brighter!

So, there it ends. I hope you all like it. Thanks for reading.
Stay happy and blessed!
S.F.R.

My world of words!

This world of words that I’ve created here
Gives me so much peace and joy,
To be friends with people far and new
And join them in their journeys beautiful.

I share what pops or creeps into my mind
Those queer thoughts that don’t quiten
And drive me into a frenzy wherein
The voices in my mind keep having conversations.

I read beautiful words and view enchanting pictures
Which make me marvel at their talents,
And they fill me with pride and delight,
For I’m honored to be a friend and learner.

It is just amazing, with a couple of days
Which I spent away from this Wordland,
I came to miss each one of you
And longed to be back, to quench my creative thirst!

P.S. My sensitive self couldn’t be helped and wasn’t letting me think of anything, unless this came off! Now I guess, it will allow me to write something else, something better. I’m trying to get better everyday.
So, this is a dedication for the blog I have here and all the wonderful people who make blogging all the more exciting and fun filled. Thanks everyone!
Best wishes!
Syeda.

I’m back!

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Hours I spent thinking about all of you,
Every moment I missed those lovely words,
We spoke and heard on the screen.

Hello friends,

Goodness gracious!!! It’s been two days!!!! TWO days since I had been here last. 😨:oops::(
There was some family work I had to tend to and that kept me away from you all.

How I missed my WordPress world! My thoughts seemed to have stopped. When I started typing this, I was glad to see them back again.

Missed some great stories, some beautiful photographs, some wonderful poems and some amazing sketches! I’ve got so much to catch up. I am surely going to scroll down and down, find them, and read them up!

So, if you’ve missed me – I’m really happy. (Yes, I’m a real attention seeker 😁😁!!!)
If you haven’t, well be prepared, for you’d wish, I was gone for a longer time! 😂😂😜😋

Lots of ‘Likes’ and ‘commenting’ to be done, so here I go. . . . . . . . . . . 😇😇

Lotsss of love and best wishes… To all the lovely ladies and the generous gentlemen out there!

Stay happy and blessed!
S.F.R.

Strength of my love. .

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When I saw her come towards me, staggering and pale, I was struck with a pain in the chest. This young girl, a couple of months back was the epitome of mischief and beauty. She was the only friend I had, and destiny had taken her away from me.

I still remember, when she would pull me along the stairs and take me to the parties, she wanted to go to. I was a boring man in her eyes, because I preferred to stay home and spend time reading instead of partying. After college, I would either study, read a book or be with her. I was an introvert. I always had trouble talking to others or meeting new people. Except her. She was not others.

I avoided parties always, but I couldn’t avoid or make excuses when she was tugging my arm. She always took me along. We’d been together since childhood. She the impatient part and me the balancing part of the equation of our relationship. She was more than a friend to me, and I knew it was the same for her.

Until that night. The night my life underwent a storm, and I returned home, having lost everything. It changed our lives. In different ways.
When she knocked at the door of my room, I was on my bed reading Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. I was amazed at the strength of the character Sydney Carton, and the extent to which love can change a person. I knew it did. I was the biggest living proof of it! I wanted to reveal the secrets of my heart soon. I was waiting for the right time. I knew it would come soon. And I had to do it. As soon as possible!

The last party we went to, the memories are still engraved in my mind and heart. She looked as enchanting as always. She wore her white dress, with pink lace and frills at the waist. Her knee length dress, showed her long gracious legs, and her white heeled shoes with a tiny bow in front, complimented her look. Her brown hair fell conspicuously around her shoulders and settled at her slender waist.

She made a fuss over everything, and kept  shouting that I was delaying her departure. She pushed me into the bathroom and made me wear my sky blue shirt. She stood out keeping time, and always made me better my previous records. She ruled me and I let her.

She was filled with excitement which made me curious. Innumerable times, I asked her to go alone, she didn’t agree to it. Whatever would happen, she would not go without me. And how much I dreaded these pubs, discos and parties, yet I went there just for her. To see her smile and spend time with her, I’d do anything!

That night, she was very excited. She kept looking at the people around, scanning them as if she were waiting for someone. When I asked her, she just brushed it off. We ordered for some soft drinks.
Though she enjoyed parties, she wasn’t into drinking. And whenever she did, I had to carry her into her room. Today, it looked as though she didn’t want to drink and spoil things. Her eyes would gleam suddenly, when a new person entered or the wind chime would make a soft musical sound. Then she’d be shadowed with dismay, on seeing the stranger’s face.

About half an hour passed this way. Just then, the chimes clinked as someone entered. Her expression changed and there was something I had never seen. Something which I wanted to see in her hazel eyes, for me. Tonight I saw it, but her eyes weren’t on me. My heart felt like a fist clenching it hard.

Hazel! Is that you? The voice called out to her, from the door, behind me.

Oh Ron! You really came! I saw Hazel shriek with joy.

Dressed in leather pants and jacket, a white slitted tshirt, a broad shouldered man walked towards us. His flat stomach, the tanned skin and bulging muscles added to his looks. And the helmet he carried, showed he was a biker. His unkempt black hair, swayed above his shoulder, as he moved. He was every inch of a modern guy, with a face that any girl would fall for.

That was Ron, whom Hazel looked at with complete awe. And I knew she had fallen for him!

He walked in our directions, with a bright smile showing his perfect teeth. He didn’t need to come further, for Hazel ran towards him and jumped into his arms.

And my heart stopped beating for it died a silent death!

To be continued…….

S.F.R.

What does it take? – It takes. . .

About an hour ago, one of my friends and fellow blogger, Ajaz asked a few questions! He is one amazing blogger, where he shares amazing stories, random thoughts and words wonderful! I love reading his works. Do check his blog out. 😄

What does it take?
     by Ajaz

What does it take to hold you?
                              I really need to know

What does it take to win your heart?
                              I wish I knew…….

What does it take to kiss you again?
                              I will do whatever it takes

What does it take to win your trust?
                              I want to take back the mistakes

What does it take to be with you?
                              I want you by my side

What does it take to make you want me?
                              I am not just along for the ride

What does it take to make you feel my love?
                              I really need to know

What does it take to make you forgive me?
                              I wish my love would grow……

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Well, here are my answers for the questions! Guess, am doing a lot of experiments these days! 😂😂

It takes. . .
     by S.F.R.

You ask me what it takes to hold me!
     It takes warmth of love, to hold me when I fall shattered!

You ask me what it takes to win my heart,
     It needs love that allows me to breathe and fly!

You ask me what it takes to kiss me again,
     It needs my limitless trust that you won’t leave me alone!

You question me what it takes to win my trust,
     It needs you to be striving to attain it, for it doesn’t come easy!

You ask what it takes to be with me,
      It needs a world of love, care and understanding.

You ask me what it takes to be with me,
     It needs patience and tolerance to bear my temper.

You ask what it takes to make me want you,
     It needs nurturing of love, with a tenderness unheard.

You question me what it takes to make me feel your love,
     It needs more than just gestures, I need to know your passion.

You ask me what it takes to make me forgive you,
     It takes more than you, it needs ME to let go of past and accept all anew.

P.S.: Do let me know what you all think about it! I’d love to know – the good or the bad – your opinions about this collaboration piece!

Thanks Ajaz for letting me use your words to kindle my otherwise idle mind! Stay happy and blessed! :):)

Lots of love and best wishes to all of you! Have a wonderful week ahead!
S.F.R.

With deception in heart – Maleficent!

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I trusted your pretence and words,
     When you returned after years,
          With deception in heart, in disguise.

I loved you always, missing you every breath,
     When you stepped in, I thought my love had triumphed,
          I could never have thought, my death was your aim.

You didn’t kill my body, but you slayed my soul,
     My love and care for you, changed to hatred forever,
          The good powers within me, you transformed them to evil.

You rejected my love for the reign of land,
     You invited my wrath, while I longed to give you love.
          But now, your destruction is what makes me breathe.

And I will avenge my pain, my tears, my inner death,
     I will never forgive you, for the treachery of yours,
           When you entered my world, with deception in heart!

P.S. I recently saw Maleficent and was amazed at the performance of Angelina Jolie. Moreover, the depth of the character she played, her pain, her feelings, her unspoken grief, in the scene when she wakes up to see her wings cut, left a mark on my mind.
There is surely no way, she would know this, but this is just for her! I may sound foolish or naïve, but sometimes something just come when you get awestruck. So, this one’s for Angelina Jolie! 😍😍😘😘

Bow & Arrow

This was a wonderful gesture of my lovely friend Sarah.
The trust she showed, to give me this sketch of hers and make me write something apt for her drawing, gave me a new motivation. It was a challenge to my words and I loved it!
Thanks Sarah for making me think beyond my own scope and write something which I would never have tried! Lots of love and best wishes dear!
Do visit her blog and see her wonderful drawings.

Art Expedition

This is a new collaboration consisting of a new poem by my dear friend Syeda that she especially composed for this occasion and one of my drawings.

Bow and Arrow

Forgotten art and hidden facts,
You conceal my role and abilities.
Always believed to be a man’s forte,
You forget that it’s in my blood.

My father was one, brave and skilled,
Ready to face the enemy, in his own yard.
My mother was equally equipped,
She could face any threat to her home or nation.

My progeny is one to be envied,
For it’s in my genes to fight back.
Enemies may attack anytime, I know,
And every moment for me is a battle.

I will face and shield myself from every arrow,
But don’t forget my quiver is laced with them too,
And I know how to turn a living moment to death,
So don’t you count me out for being…

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