Here I go reflective!

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Looking past the window, I saw the tree standing firm but whirling its branches with the wind. Performing a ballet with the wind as its partner, shedding the dry, brown leaves. It seemed to lose a bit of its youth as each leaf fell. The dried ones had no life left. They had lived joyously as long as they were destined to.

Destiny. What a unique power it is! With time it changes. It isn’t just dependent on time but also on me. Every person is a co-writer of his own destiny. You sit back and blame it, it shall remain stubbornly, but if you face it, it is sure to change. No change happens if you sit and keep complaining about it. Change happens only when you decide firmly and be firm and hard-headed that you will do what it takes to change it.

Today, looking at the old and grumpy tree stand firm shedding its leaves, I saw the next step of my destiny. I had decided. Decided firmly. I will shed my inhibitions, my fears, my weaknesses – they are as dead as those dried brown leaves – and I will stand up to face the challenges to change my “Destiny”!

S.F.R.

The Awakening by Jude Deveraux – Review

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Hi everyone,

Well, so here I am. Reviewing a book that I completed last night. The Awakening by Jude Deveraux. The book is a beautiful romantic story. Ask me and I give it a 4 stars. Beautifully written and exciting enough to keep you interested. It was a long time since I read a romantic book, and this one didn’t disappoint me in any way.

Then plot was quite interesting. Fell in love with Hank Montgomery. Adorable and flirtatious yet different due to his beliefs and intentions. Always trying to help women, he ends up getting involved with them. The damsels end up falling in love with him. Well, who wouldn’t!! Someone who believes in giving women freedom and space. Just a perfect man.  💜😍😘

Well, the heroine was a bit prudish. Following instructions and orders to the core, though seems unrealistic yet it has happened and has been happening since ages. Her confused state of mind and her desire to please the others, first her father and then her tutor and fiance. All are literally what women end up doing even today. With sons and husband added to that list! Sadly!!

The most intriguing fact is that Jude mentions about the incident and the people on whom her story, incidents and characters are based. Creates an understanding of those times and those people.

Well, on the whole a beautiful story, woven around a powerful plot. I loved it. I hope my review helps you and you too feel the same about it after reading it.

Take care.
Keep reading. Keep living.
Bye for now!!
SFR

S.F.R.

Review – When the Devil holds the candle

Been long since I reviewed any book. Lo, here I am.

This book was suggested by a friend on Facebook and I was utterly disappointed. The book is slow and just not able to keep pace and interest as a book of murder mystery or thriller. Just not upto the mark for me. (The author is going to hate me if she reads this:roll:)

The story comes from the point of view of each character nearly and that leaves you utterly confused when the chapter begins. It’s after a little lines that you realize whose point of view it is!

Totally unimpressed!! Do let me know if you have read it. If not leave a comment for me.
Thanks.
Ciao!!

S.F.R.

When Angels Touch!

Shaurya knew he was going to hate the day today!How awful he felt! But he had to pretend that he was happy. He was 9 years old and he already felt like he was nobody in this house.

He saw the whole house go mad. He never understood why there was so much of hue and cry. What was the big deal? Huh! Elders are so selfish, so self centered, he thought. He had seen his grandmothers-both paternal and maternal- go ga-ga about it. He saw his aunts on both sides go hysteric about it.

He saw his mother spend sleepless nights and his father make uncountable plans. He was part of it all. But he wasn’t happy. He was tired. He was exhausted. He was annoyed and despised all for it.

He didn’t say a word to anyone. He tried to show that he was one of them in their rejoicing times. 
“How could he! How can he even think like that!” Everyone would lecture him. He was sure about that.

It was six months back, in September when his parents told him. Another day of his life that he hated. 15th September. 
Mother was being moody and impatient those days. She would have nausea and sleep most of the day. Her moods would rise and fall like the tide of the sea. One day she would be all happy and joyous. The next day she would become gloomy. He was totally confused. And she was visiting the doctor every fortnight. He was scared. He was filled with all kinds of fears.

Watching this happen, for about two months, he finally approached his father. He mustered up all his courage and asked his father, “Father, is mother sick?”
Father replied in the negative. It worried him more. They were trying to hide it from him.

“Let me know father. I can understand things. I am grown up now. Why is mother not well? What has happened to her? Is she going to die?” His questions amused his father. He stood there worried and curious. Father thought for a minute and then he burst into laughter.

“Oh dear! Shaurya what have you been thinking! It is nothing like that. Mother is sick as she has some other problems. She is unwell, yes but it is not serious like you think. Well, we should have told you earlier but we thought to wait more.” He gestured Shaurya to come closer.

He made him sit on his lap. And broke the news to Shaurya. Soon he was to have a new family member. A brother or a sister. Shaurya was taken aback. He had always been the sole child of his parents. He didnt want to share them now. He was in a dilemma. Seeing father’s sparkling eyes, he felt he should show that he was happy.

And since then he had been pretending. Yesterday, after he returned from school. He found his mother wasn’t home. When he asked his grandmother, she told him, that mother had gone to the hospital and would return in a day or two with my little sister.

That made him more apprehensive. There were all boys in the family. All his father’s brothers had two or three sons. So his sister was the first girl child in the family. Therefore the madness was at its peak. So many preparations for a tiny baby. One who wouldn’t even remember all this.

So, today, rather in a few minutes, father and mother were to return from the hospital with that baby! Even though he hadn’t seen her, he had started hating her since he heard of it in September. And he felt nothing would change those feelings of his.

And then she came!

Mother looked a lot exhausted. She got into her room after meeting everyone and kept him by her side for the rest of the time. The baby went from mother to father, grandfather to grandmother, aunt to uncles and all around. Shaurya did not even have a look at her. He didn’t want to.

When finally she started crying, she was given back to mother. Shaurya moved away. As soon as she was in mother’s arms, she was silent. Shaurya was called by his mother. She felt his uneasiness.

“Shaurya, hold her”, mother ordered and handed over the little bundle into his arms. Shaurya was scared as he never held a baby earlier. And then he looked at her.

Those little sparkling black eyes. Those pink lips. Those tiny fingers which she curled around his own finger. Those soft and blushing cheeks. And a sweet smile on her face. Shaurya saw her closely and slowly.

Gradually, his heart was filled with a strange feeeling. His hatred, his resentment, his despise for her had just flown off. With each second he spent having her in his arms, his heart was filled with love. She was his. She was the first girl with whom he would spend his life. She was a little angel.

Shaurya felt guilty for having despised her when he hadn’t even seen her. When mother let him hold and take care of her while she went to the bathroom, he sat on the bed. And then, he realised that she didn’t take up his place. She had made him more important. She had made his stature increase. She had made him responsible. As he kept looking at her. She opened her little fingers and touched his face. Those little soft fingers felt like flower petals tracing his face. She looked like a fairy to him. She was magical.

“Pari”, he called out with an ear-to-ear smile and kissed her lightly, lest he hurt her.

They both were the most caring and loving brother-sister. Shaurya and Pari were the epitome of sibling-love. Shaurya was Pari’s hero always while Pari was always the little angel for Shaurya. Pari was always seen around her brave and strong brother Shaurya. Shaurya was so proud of his little angel.

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My Love, My Strength!

Deep was aghast after he saw the lifeless body of his only son. His son was too young to have died like that. More than the joys he had celebrated, he had endured pains. Why was it to happen like this? Deep never understood. He felt God had created him only to suffer.

Growing up in an orphanage, Deep had felt the stings of poverty, loneliness and dejection. What would a child feel when he comes to realise that he was abandoned on his birth by his parents, by his mother. If she had no intentions of keeping him, of loving him, of being a.parent, then why did she give birth to him? Why was he thrown away like a thorn or a weed? He never knew what his fault had been.

He grew up facing difficulties all along. The orphanage had a government school nearby. Deep was enrolled in school by the caretaker like all other children. Deep was quick to learn and after he did his schooling, he wrote to many trusts and charitable organisations that offered scholarships to meritorious students. After that, his goal had been to change his destiny. He would show the world and his unseen parents, how strong he was.

After he did his graduation, due to his marvellous record and hard working nature, he got a decent job at the bank. It was then that he met Maya. She was a young woman who had joined the bank as a temporary employee. She was a quiet, shy and hardworking person. She would speak less and follow orders and instructions easily. Deep liked her positive nature. Slowly they began to talk, then they spent lunchtime.together. Very soon, Deep would accompany her to her home via the metro. Slowly and gradually they fell in love. And not so long after that, he proposed marriage.

Deep was an orphan and that was something, society didn’t easily forget. Maya’s parents were against it in the beginning. But soon, they relented when Maya was adamant. That was something new for him to know. Maya was shy and quiet but she was a strong headed and firm woman. He loved her more when she always would stand by him. She became his strength.

Soon after marriage, people started asking about children. First it was for fun, teasing. Then it was concern. Slowly it was their pitiful eyes and advices that frustrated Deep. Yet, he was surprised how unaffected was Maya by it. Deep knew she longed for a child too, as did he. They went for medications. There were prayers offered for them in every spot where God would listen. But it was of no avail.

People started talking about remarrying. That was the limit for Deep. He made it clear that nobody and nothing mattered to him more than Maya. He could not think of loving someone else. She was his love. She was his world. And then after ten years, somehow God showed some mercy on her. It had to be her, because Deep felt, He was never bothered about him.

And then was born Suraj. Deep and Maya’s world became heaven after his birth. He was perfect for them. They became an example of perfect family for all. Deep felt finally peaceful when he saw Maya happy. Her smiles filled his life. Her love for their son was boundless but so was her love for Deep. Their bond got stronger and stronger. And then the clouds of despair struck with lightning on Deep and Maya’s house. Suraj was diagnosed with cancer.

Deep and Maya were shattered after his death. To carry the coffin of a young son, was too hard for Deep. He was burying their hope, their life, their joys, the bud of their love. His pain was immeasurable, but he wasnt concerned about his pain..he was worried for Maya. She was broken. His ill-luck had only brought pain to her. She gave him all that he wished and wanted, while he gave her only pains. When he said that to her that night, she threw a.vase at him for being so stupid.

But the next day of their son’s death, Deep was perplexed. He was shocked when he saw Maya smiling. Smiling just a few hours after burying her only son. And suddenly she started crying. A smile with tears flowing uncontrollably. Deep was scared to the deepest bone and nerve he had. Was Maya breaking? Was she going to leave him.too? Was she losing her senses? Would he be able to live without her?

Deep died many deaths before he approached her. Please God, he begged. He needed her badly. He needed her always. And ever since he could remember, for the first time in years, he begged God to atleast leave Maya out of his misfortune and let her remain with him as his love and strength always!

Maya looked at him, she realised he was worried. She smiled at him again and said, “Dont worry Deep, I wont leave your side unless I drive you mad!”

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Tears Or Smiles?

The light rays of the sun fell on her face. She opened her heavy eyes and looked at the window glistening with the sunrays. She groped around in her bed. For an instant Maya had forgotten yesterday. For an instant she forgot what made her eyes and head heavy. She had forgotten Suraj. She had forgotten her son!

Maya rose from her bed. She thought of all the pain her tiny little baby had endured. Those merciless needles pinned to his body. Those innumerable times they drew out his blood. Those false hopes all had given her; that some medication might work and he would have a better life.

Suraj was her six year old dead son! Dead! To think of that word always had made Maya shiver. Yet, it didnt have any effect today.

She and Deep had had a son after ten years of marriage. Their Suraj, the sun of their universe was born and then their life felt complete. He had never been a troublesome child. Even as an infant he never troubled Maya. He would sleep when Maya would cuddle him. He would wake when all awoke. He would not fall sick as often the other kids would. Maya was a proud mother and she would always heap praises in front of others.

And then destiny struck them hard. Suraj was five when he started falling sick. His temperature would rise uncontrollably and he started becoming frail. They ran hysterically from one doctor to another. After running hundreds of tests and checkups, Suraj was diagnosed of blood cancer.

Maya and Deep’s Suraj, their universe, could not be cured as his cancer was in third stage and his body was fragile to respond to the medicines. Maya went to every temple, every saint’s tomb, every church’s priest, but nothing was working. Slowly his conditions worsened and in a year, he breathed his last.

That was yesterday. Her Suraj was no more. Her Deep was broken. She was shattered. She had seen his lively and beautiful face become lifeless. She saw his smile fade. She saw his breath stop. She saw his eyes close. She saw it all.

But something was strange. Being a mother of a deceased son, she shouldnt be feeling like that. Was she a bad mother? Was she a cruel woman to feel this way after her son died? Was she going crazy? What was this? Maya kept wondering.

She felt a peace. She felt that her son was at peace. Her Suraj was at peace now. No more piercing needles into those tiny veins. No more hospital visits. No more awful medicines. No more painful cries. She felt at peace that finally Suraj was too at peace. This world was just not worthy of her son. He was an angel whom the world was giving pain beyond his endurance. Maya for once smiled as she saw her son’s picture hanging on the wall. She saw him smiling back. And then her tears started falling. Her world seemed lost but she knew he was somewhere above, smiling back at her!

WHERE LOVE COULD PAVE WAYS!

Sandra woke up to more butterflies flying in her stomach. It was the day! It was her first day to join school as the teacher. 15th August 2011. She woke with nervousness and anxiety. She helped her children get ready and leave for school. Her husband noticed her anxiety and teased her. He was glad to see her take up a job rather than while away her time and worry about nothing! They weren’t too rich but he knew she was happy with him. He knew she loved him a lot. She just felt useless and so when she was selected as an English teacher at a local school, he readily agreed.
Sandra was joining in the middle of the academic year and she was to handle the higher classes. Her last visit, when she got her appointment letter scared her. She saw boys and girls of all types and sizes. There were tall and short ones; lean and fat ones; showy; nerdy- all were there. She wondered if she would be able to handle them. She always knew she could leave it if she wasn’t able to!
Stepping into the premises of the school, she took a deep breath. It was after 5 years that she again thought of working. Her kids had grown up and she had a lot of time for herself. The grey building looked sombre from outside but inside was the fervour of childhood. There were giggles, smiles, laughter and talks of the innocent beings of God – children.
She was given her timetable and to her shock, her first class was with 10th boys! Ohhh dear, she thought! She stepped apprehensively into the class to see around 25-26 boys talking aloud. One of them noticed her and suddenly there was an uneasy silence. Sandra smiled and knew she had to face it! She wasnt going to step back. 
“Good morning boys”, she said.
“Good morning Ma’am”, they replied. After a few days i knew a few names. Allan was the happy go lucky guy, Sam- the leader of the gang, Jack the quiet observer and Owen. Well Owen was one who seemed most away from the class but contrarily he was the most attentive and expressive. They had slowly and steadily accepted Sandra as a guide, a friend and as their mentor. And then began the tryst with learning. It had its ups and downs. Sandra enjoyed her days. The boys would sometimes get protective of her if she praised any one other than them. Sometimes they would walk back to her house with her, if she got late to leave. 
A few days were left now for them to appear for their finals. Sandra had got them thinking about their goals. Her motivation inspired her students and they took these exams to show her how much she affected them.
And then, their world took a turn. Allan, the one who would never wear a frown, was hit by the wrath of destiny. His father expired, two days before the exams began. Sandra was shocked when Owen called and informed her. She wanted to see him. She wanted to reach out to Allan but she wanted to give him space.
When she attended the funeral with all his friends, she saw him. Allan, the ever smiling one, had suddenly gone so lifeless. Seeing him lift the coffin of his father brought tears to Sandra’s eyes. The boy who complained of the heavy bag and books, was carrying and bearing the lifeless body of his father.
He looked at her with tears. She wanted to comfort him but she stopped herself.she didnt want him to break down. When they had buried the coffin and all left. Sandra was leaving too. Her.phone rang in her purse. It was Owen. He said, ” Ma’am, he wants to speak to you!”
Sandra held her chest tight with the other hand. Allan’s voice came, ” Ma’am, I am lost. I am alone now. I cannot face anything. I lost everything today”. Sandra’s face got drenched with tears but she had to do it. 
After Allan had stopped and she could hear his whimpers, she said, “Allan, nothing is lost. He left your mother and your sister in your hands now. You cant let them down. I will not let you lose. I will not face anything alone. You have to do it foryl.your father, your mother, your siblings. You will do it with me. Promise me that you will write your exams. Please!!” 
With tears in her eyes, how she said that, she too didnt know! But she had to. She had to stop him from breaking. She had to make him stand. She had to pick him up before he shattered. She and Owen took him for the exam on the first day of exam. He was pale but he appeared as Sandra would not listen to a no. The next paper onwards he asked Sandra not to worry and he would appear for all exams now.
When the result was declared, the first person whom Allan rushed to was Sandra. He held her hand and thanked her for what she had done for him. Sandra was surprised. She hadnt done anything except say a few words. Allan then told her,”If your words made me do this, it means you are magical. I promise, I wont ever let you down! Thanks for everything. Thanks for believing in me”. 
Those words and that feeling made Sandra resolve that she would always keep herself dedicated towards her work. One may never know how far and deep you can touch another’s life. Sandra still teaches and each year she ends up collecting the love of so many students and they say that she had touched their lives in such a way that no other had.