Gentle Touch…

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The visiting hours were over. I walked out of the room. Seeing her writhe in pain was the last thing I had wanted to see. And doing that helplessly had been my ritual for the last five years. She was the epitome of life, love and beauty. My darling wife Susan.

I met Susan on one of my visits to the kids section in the hospital. I was there as a clown for a patient’s birthday party. I had been forced to go there as a replacement by my friend. He was part of a non-governmental organization’s team. This NGO was trying to spread joys to the children suffering from fatal diseases.

I still remember how I had gotten late and dashed into Susan at the pediatric section. She smiled at me, I understood later, it was because of how foolish I looked. But, I was supposed to be a clown, I had to look foolish and act too. Anyways, she smiled at me and my heart seemed as though it forgot to beat.

Susan, I later learned was there everyday. She had to be. She was the most loved nurse of the pediatric department. Children adored her. I was a witness to that when I visited the hospital as a patient, a short week later. As soon as my orthopedic doctor checked my bones of my fractured arm, I got an excuse to go further. I felt it was a boon in disguise for me.

I stepped onto the elevator and reached the fourth floor. The door opened after a ring. I stepped out of it. I walked along seeing the children of all shapes and sizes and colors around. The most disturbing sights were to come next. To see the tiny arms and hands straddled with needles hurt me. The little eyes sparkling with hope. Their little faces with frowns due to the medicines and injections. I kept walking around. I stopped at a corner and looked around. It was the Cancer patients ward.

The steady rise of deaths due to cancer was not a new thing, but it shocked me to see children affected by it too. And all here were in the second or third stage. I looked around, most of them had not a single hair on their head. Some of them had hair, like some messy patch left on their head. It was heart-rending. Stark reality about that disgusting disease looked back at me. Why these kids? I wondered. What have they done? Have they even lived properly to be subjected to such painful times and death at such a tender age?

And then, she entered. She was in that white boring nurse uniform. Yet, never had I seen a woman look so beautiful in that attire. Those soft blue eyes had so much care and concern in them. She was tall and wore no heels, she was wearing white flats. And her brown-blonde hair tied into a tight bun. Her thin pink lips made her look so beautiful that I didn’t realize it when she came up to me.

“Sir, what are you doing here? I think you’ve lost your way. The orthopedic department is on the first floor.” She kept saying and I just stared at her. When finally she snapped a finger in front of my eyes, the spell broke.

“Oh! I am sorry.” I replied apologetically.

She took a hard and close look at me. Then she smiled. Dear God! What a creation of Yours! My heart again skipped a beat.

“Hey! You are the person who was here last week as the clown. Am I right?” She asked. I was amazed and happy that she had remembered me. And then began my trips to the hospital. My visits and walks around the children were something I waited for every week. Once in a week, I would go there and play the clown or read stories to those innocent souls. What peace it brought! And the onus was Susan was always there.

Finally one Saturday I took her out for dinner. And then as they say all is history. But wait, not in that sense. Our dinners were really dinners. We’d watch a movie or go for a walk. Then we would bid each other farewell. There was some reason that Susan never initiated anything. Plans, movies or dinners. She would happily comply but not ask first. She was close yet very far from me.

It was one night, when after the movie and dinner, I held her hand and sat on a bench nearby a small park. It was a full moon shining overhead. I told her about my day, she heard. I complained about my job, she giggled. It was like the sound of bells. Soft chimes. And I couldn’t stop myself. I raised my hand and touched her chin. Raising her face up, in the moonlight I saw those blue eyes. How magical they were!

And then I kissed her. Soft and tender kiss. She was surprised but didn’t try to move away. After I moved away, she opened those blue eyes and looked at me. This time there were tears in them. I was scared. Did I do something wrong. I looked at her questioningly.

She held my hand. Her hands had become so cold. I was worried she was sick. She held it tightly and said, “I know Simon. I have felt it. You want to take our relationship ahead, but before that I need to tell you something. I cannot cheat you or deceive you.”

I was filled with fright. What was it? Was she already married? Was she engaged? Was she in love with someone else? Questions flooded my mind……..

(To be continued…….)
Note: Well, the story stops here. Surely will try to move it ahead tomorrow.  Hope you all like it.

Ciao
From Simon, Susan and

S.F.R.

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Dear Mother, With Love – A short story

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I lay in the cloth wrapped around me. The scent of medicines and the murmurs of the nurses reached my ears. They kept looking at me as I breathed my last. It wasn’t so hard but my fighting spirit wouldn’t let it happen sooner than it did.

I wanted to pass a message to my mother. My beautiful and lovely mother. I had heard God say that after Him, the creation who deserved to be respected and loved are parents. Specially, mother!

I wanted to let my mother know a few things. If only I could tell her. My message would comfort her.

Dear mother,
I love you mother. I know it was a difficult thing for you to bear. I was so restless and made you too while I was in your body. I hurt you and took up all your energies. But that was the most beautiful time I spent with you.

I know mother, you will always remember me and love me. So will I.

You needn’t worry mother. I know how hard it was for you to take that decision. The decision to not give birth to me. I understand you mother. Rather I am happy about it. You might wonder why! Let me tell you the reason.

Since the time I was created, I asked God to show me the world He created for us. He wouldn’t agree. Then, soon I was told that I was to enter the world. I begged and pleaded and finally it was accepted. The human world was shown to me.

I was scared, mother. Too scared. And I was not willing to come. Your decision made my will come true.

Thanks mother. You might wonder what scared me! Well, I was scared by the people. I am a girl mother. I was scared that by my birth, you and father might have issues. I didn’t want to be the reason of your sorrow mother.
I wanted father to be happy to have me not worry about my education and marriage and dowry. I didn’t want to be a burden on him!

I was fearful mother. How many times and how many people would you protect me from mother? You would not be with me always, but that would add to your worries. Anxious from the time I leave home to the time I return. So many dangers around.

What if I was kidnapped? What if the neighbor uncle or his son raped me? What if I was stolen from your warm arms and sold in the world of frozen emotions. What if my soul was tarnished with the coarse hands of men in the trade? What if I became the next Nirbhaya? What if I am killed like the children of military school? What if I am shot like Malala? What if I am burnt alive?

You did right mother. You didn’t let me or you suffer. Its painful now for you I know. You blame father and grandma for being persistent for a boy. But its a relief to me too mother. You needn’t shed tears. I understand mother.
Instead of giving birth and then we both whimper in pain, this separation is easier to bear. I shall wait for you mother. I will wait for you in heaven.
And don’t worry. I will tell God that you didn’t do anything wrong. You did what your baby wanted. You removed me from your womb before I got too attached to you. But the last three months mother, were the best of my existence. I loved your voice, your sweet whispers to me, your caresses and your wishes.

Be happy always mother. And also tell father I love him too. He is the only man I loved in the little expanse of my life in your  world.
Thanks mother.
Love you.
Your unseen daughter

And then I lay still. My tiny body lay still. My soul, my spirit was with a beautiful angel. God had sent it down to bring me back to His kingdom. I flew away as quietly as I had flown in!

P.S.: This story is in context with the kind of belief and attitude in some countries regarding the birth of a girl child. Female foeticide is a crime yet it is being done! #SaveGirlChild

S.F.R.

Self-Help Made Easy : Fia Essen

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Hello all…
So today I am here to tell you about a book which reached my hands, and what luck it is for me! I am not usually into reading “Self help” books, but this was an exception. I picked it up for a quick read and was amazed.

Well, to begin with, Fia Essen is an amazing writer from Athens ( have been in love with that place since I saw an Indian actor romance with his heroine there 💞). She has two books to her credit, and the third is still under progress! I did get to read one book of hers, ” Ariel ” and I loved it. Will post its review sometime later! Already started the second one “Anna” and truly enjoying it!

Coming to the book under spotlight, SHMS is a good rule book. Its got simple understandable theories and examples. I guess that’s what worked for me. Self help books, I find hard to follow as most of the time I am not able to grasp what the message is!

Simple booklet style work of Fia really boosted me. It has things which really have either happened to you or are happening as of now. The rules and tips she has shared from her own life are really motivating.

I am sharing a few thoughts of hers that struck me. We keep wasting out our energies about what happened yesterday. She says ” What you did or didn’t do yesterday is of no consequence today…. All you have is now and it’s gift. ”

Another snippet : The only real path to success is to think big, start small and keep going.”
Amazing words by the writer can be found in the rest of the book.

I am surely going to keep these things and all the rest of her words very close to my eyes, heart and mind. Seriously, these are the ones which need to be energized every now and then.

So, if you looking for a self help book which makes you think of what to leave and what to move ahead in life with, which you wish picks you up from the low-feel, then this is the one for you!
Hope you like it as much as I did. Let me know too.
Lots of love and positivity to all.
Enjoy reading!

S.F.R.

Review – Silent Revenge

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Okay, so, yesterday I finished reading this book. It was an experiment, new author (for me), new book and reading what people call “old romance”. And lo, I was in for great surprise. I loved reading it. A wonderful story with a string of strong characters.

The hero and heroine are really lovable. Specially loved the strength and convictions of the heroine. I mean how can one really hide a physical flaw so well and for so long. She is a talented lady, she is a lady of “someplace” ( you know how hard those names are of those Dukes and Lords and Ladies and Duchesses, so kindly forgive me for that!!) with a small, well not really small, but a physical problem and none around her could find it out! Then there is a wicked step-brother plotting to prove that she is a dangerously demented person. All things put together seem a bit unrealistic but that’s what novels are all about! 💜

The hero, he is the Earl of Northcote (don’t ask how I remember this!!) So, he is convicted of a crime and returns to the town. What an entry! As it happens quite early, it doesn’t make sense but as the story progresses you realize what a bold persona he has! All troubles seem to be in love with him and the answer to his solution is our dear heroine.

Their first meeting, the offers they give one another and their confrontations and romance fill up the story beautifully. The tidbits of their fights and the sudden impulsive actions they take, make it a story wonderfully written. So, if you are a romance buff and enjoy the Duke-Lord era novels, do read and enjoy it!
And don’t forget to let me know how you felt about the review and the book!

S.F.R.

S.F.R.

Here I go reflective!

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Looking past the window, I saw the tree standing firm but whirling its branches with the wind. Performing a ballet with the wind as its partner, shedding the dry, brown leaves. It seemed to lose a bit of its youth as each leaf fell. The dried ones had no life left. They had lived joyously as long as they were destined to.

Destiny. What a unique power it is! With time it changes. It isn’t just dependent on time but also on me. Every person is a co-writer of his own destiny. You sit back and blame it, it shall remain stubbornly, but if you face it, it is sure to change. No change happens if you sit and keep complaining about it. Change happens only when you decide firmly and be firm and hard-headed that you will do what it takes to change it.

Today, looking at the old and grumpy tree stand firm shedding its leaves, I saw the next step of my destiny. I had decided. Decided firmly. I will shed my inhibitions, my fears, my weaknesses – they are as dead as those dried brown leaves – and I will stand up to face the challenges to change my “Destiny”!

S.F.R.

The Awakening by Jude Deveraux – Review

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Hi everyone,

Well, so here I am. Reviewing a book that I completed last night. The Awakening by Jude Deveraux. The book is a beautiful romantic story. Ask me and I give it a 4 stars. Beautifully written and exciting enough to keep you interested. It was a long time since I read a romantic book, and this one didn’t disappoint me in any way.

Then plot was quite interesting. Fell in love with Hank Montgomery. Adorable and flirtatious yet different due to his beliefs and intentions. Always trying to help women, he ends up getting involved with them. The damsels end up falling in love with him. Well, who wouldn’t!! Someone who believes in giving women freedom and space. Just a perfect man.  💜😍😘

Well, the heroine was a bit prudish. Following instructions and orders to the core, though seems unrealistic yet it has happened and has been happening since ages. Her confused state of mind and her desire to please the others, first her father and then her tutor and fiance. All are literally what women end up doing even today. With sons and husband added to that list! Sadly!!

The most intriguing fact is that Jude mentions about the incident and the people on whom her story, incidents and characters are based. Creates an understanding of those times and those people.

Well, on the whole a beautiful story, woven around a powerful plot. I loved it. I hope my review helps you and you too feel the same about it after reading it.

Take care.
Keep reading. Keep living.
Bye for now!!
SFR

S.F.R.

Review – When the Devil holds the candle

Been long since I reviewed any book. Lo, here I am.

This book was suggested by a friend on Facebook and I was utterly disappointed. The book is slow and just not able to keep pace and interest as a book of murder mystery or thriller. Just not upto the mark for me. (The author is going to hate me if she reads this:roll:)

The story comes from the point of view of each character nearly and that leaves you utterly confused when the chapter begins. It’s after a little lines that you realize whose point of view it is!

Totally unimpressed!! Do let me know if you have read it. If not leave a comment for me.
Thanks.
Ciao!!

S.F.R.