Goodness gracious! My story now comes to part 11. I hope you will like it.
Yours Truly (11)!
When he stepped out of the car, standing under the ruthless rain, my heart skipped from its place. Why was he here? I thought to myself. I rose up, my eyes all fixed on him.
He stood there, looking at me. With the darkness as well as the rain between us, I couldn’t see his face clearly. The water was flowing across his face and in moments he was completely drenched. His black trousers and white crisp shirt now clung to his body as water fell from them on the ground.
Time seemed to have stopped for me, for him, for us. For nothing made us move. Neither he stepped forward nor did he go backwards. I felt as though nails had fixed me to the floor, neither a foot moved nor did a sound come out of my throat.
Then, he moved!
With a swift movement, he closed the door of the car. He started walking towards the house. Towards me. Just in that moment, I felt the whole magic spell break. My eyes fell on the clock on the wall across the window. It arms lay across lazily, the shorter one beyond 10 and the longer one beyond 11. His party was supposed to be in full fledge. What was he doing here? Was I supposed to have done something wrong? Did anything go wrong tonight for his venture?
Oh God! Please no!
Seeing him walk briskly towards the house, made me think of nothing but concern for him. There was nothing more painful than seeing his aim lost because of me. Had I somehow led to his dreams getting shattered! The worry and anxiety on his face told me that he was in some deep trouble and pain. What had I done?
In all this, I forgot how moments ago it was I who had been hurt and troubled. It was my broken heart that had needed Mom and Dad’s sanity and strength. It didn’t matter to me when I saw him like that. I didn’t matter to myself. I walked down the porch of the house and met him down the little rock steps where he stood panting as the rain kept wetting him.
What are you doing here, John? I asked him worry clear in my eyes but trying to sound aloof.
I had to come! He replied, as he tried to catch his breath.
Why? I left everything back there in the office. There is nothing I have with me of yours. I stated as a matter of fact. I really didn’t have anything of his. He had.
You think I would have come all the way down here, if you didn’t have it? He questioned as though I had stolen something from him. Confused at his statement, I waited for him to speak further.
I kept looking at him, now unconcerned that he was as wet as a street cat, lurking out in the rain. How dare he comes here, at my Uncle’s place, and accuse me of having something that was his!
Come on Sandra! I left my dream behind and came here. It means you have something which I desperately need. He repeated.
Something within me snapped! What was wrong with this man! My anger and blood pressure seemed to sky rocket. I didn’t know what he wanted, what thing of his was with me. But I knew one thing. I wanted him to hurt as much as I was hurting. I wanted him to cry and shout in pain as much as I had. I wanted to be the reason to cause hurt and pain. With fury getting the better of me, I looked around.
His eyes grew wide as he dived away. He dodged the next one. He bent down to escape the third. His hands waving in panic and trying to stop the stones from hitting him.
Sandra!! Stop!! Please stop it! He kept shouting each time a stone was hurled in his direction.
You! You idiot! I screamed and threw one.
You come here… I shouted angrily and threw the next.
You call me a thief! The next one also directed towards him.
Shut up! John! I shout again. I saw him trying to avoid getting hit while I kept picking and throwing stones at him randomly.
Each time I bend and pick a stone, he seems closer, and easier to hit. One or two did hit the target and hearing him shout my name out with pain, made my heart grin devilishly.
He was just at an arm’s length, when I raised the hand to throw the stone I was holding at him, when I felt one of his big hands across my waist while the other was holding my hand – the one with the stone – strongly. His head rested steadily over mine as my back dashed into his chest.
Go away! I hate you!! I screamed with anger boiling within me.
But… I felt a shiver down my body, when I realized, that his lips were close to my ears. The word he spoke had made me freeze. His breathing was hard, I could hear him inhale the cold air and the warm air he exhaled fell on my ear lobe. His hands warm and strong, encircled around me, holding me close to his body. My back sticking to his hard and wet chest.
But… I love you Sandra!
Those words. Softly whispered in my ears, I felt it was something my mind had made up. My ears were ringing or rather they had started dreaming on their own. His warm breath and the words resonated in my ear while I came to a standstill.
Sure that I had heard it wrong, I turned my face towards his. It added more to my thoughts!
His eyes, staring back at me, told me to understand their pain. The water trickling from the eyelashes, seemed to break down the barrier around his eyes, which now spoke to mine as though they had been long lost lovers.
As the stone from my hand fell, John’s hand entwined with mine. His fingers fit into the spaces between my fingers perfectly. As though they had been crafted together. He pulled our hands towards our bodies. And they rested just above the other pair of hands which were already set in place.
Without a second thought, he pressed me more closer to him. In that cold and wet outside, I could feel inside the heat of the bodies and the hearts rise.
Seeing my confusion, he released his right hand from the waist, and held both of mine with his left. Raising my chin to face him properly, his lips said it again. This time my eyes and my ears were witness to his words, when he said in his soft voice, I love you!
Youuu…. I tried to say, but his finger had moved to my lips and he silenced me.
Listen to me Sandra. He said as he held me closer to him.
I was restless. Restless, since the day Martin came.
I always thought love wasn’t for me, and I managed to stay away from it all along. I don’t know, since when, why, where and how this happened. Realisation happened only when Martin looked at you. It was then that I felt strange.
Everyday we met, we spent hours together. I had you even on weekends with me, so that missing-out-on-love kind of thing never struck me. I thought I was strong enough to erode love. When you left in the evening for home, I dreaded the trip back home. With some or the other reason, I would call you or leave a message for you. Saturdays I took you along with me to the parties, and Sundays I knew you were with your family. In a way, I had closed you up in my cage. Neither accepting it was love nor even realizing what I was doing.
And that night, when I saw Martin with you, the smile you had on your face while you spoke to him or walked beside him, stirred up something within me.
The next day, his package came and that note made me resent him. I felt like he was some opponent and with some magic he had taken you away from me. I started avoiding you. And that led to those days of torment. I hated him and I despised it that he was openly making an effort to win your heart.
Then, that day in the office, you barged into my cabin and started demanding. I snapped and said the stupidest thing I could have ever said. When you left the room, I knew I had lost your friendship.
Hours later when I saw the email you had sent, truth stared back that I had lost you forever. I tried hard to keep myself engrossed in the work of the party. I planned everything, I shouted, I screamed at everyone and anyone. Nothing was giving me the joy which I had wanted all along in my life. Every time my eyes moved towards the entrance, there was hope that you might just walk in and say, I’ll take it up from here. You came so many times, in my mind’s eye, in my dreams, but never for real. You never came.
I woke up today morning dying to hear from you. I wanted to hold your hand as we always walked into the party halls. I went ahead alone. In the whole party, I saw everyone rejoicing, I saw all celebrating, but not that one who would have rejoiced the most. Not that one who deserved to celebrate it all. Not that one whom I wanted beside me. Every thing that happened seemed to be unreal. I just felt like it wasn’t a success I had achieved. I felt like a man who had lost everything. I felt poor and helpless, though I stood raising my glass of champagne as they all toasted my success. I felt like a lonely soul, whose demise was being celebrated.
Fury erupted when my eyes fell on him. How badly I wanted to punch his face! How I wanted to pin him down on the ground and hit him!
But the way he stared back at me, baffled me. He didn’t look like a contender, but someone who could see through my façade, someone who could see my pain. Surprisingly, his eyes made me feel that only he knew the way to ease my pain.
As I stood alone while the world around me shone, he made me realize that I had been the biggest fool. When the whole world saw, I hadn’t. The whole world could feel it, but couldn’t. He is the one who opened my eyes and showed me that, I hated him as I was jealous. I despised him for I was afraid, and I was alone there as I hadn’t accepted the truth. And the truth is, I love you!
I have never had time to love anyone, you’ve been witness to it. I never went out in parties or hung out with girls as I wanted to wait to fall in love, true love. And while true love had been by my side always, I had turned blind to it!
I left everything and came here tonight. My dream cannot come true if you aren’t there in it. I don’t want to walk alone through the paths of life anymore. Leaving the party in Martin’s hands, I drove madly to reach here and tell you everything. He says he’s sure you love me, but I want to hear it from you. Tell me Sandra!
I was shocked to hear him speak so carefully and in detail. He was always one with less words. But today he spoke, as if everything of his depended on his words. He loosened his grip still holding my hand in his.
As I stepped forward trying to release myself and consider what had just happened, he held my arm and pulled me. I was now facing him. His face raw and pained with emotions, his eyes red and his skin turning pale under the cold air and water. One arm held me closer to him, the other moved to my neck. The proximity and the warmth of his skin made me shiver. The rain water travelling across his face, was now falling on my lips.
Be mine Sandra! Please! Let me love you back. Let me give the love I have always had in my heart for you!
I need you!
I want you!
I cannot live without you! Please!!
His voice quivered as he said the last lines. His ‘please’ sounded like a little boy begging for love. And that made my heart wrench.
The man I had always loved, he finally told me that he loves me. He finally needed me, he wanted me. He loved me! What else did I need to hear now? What more could my heart ache for?
I looked into his eyes, my tears started flowing. The torrents within me quietened, when his lips touched my forehead. And then I told him, for years what I had wanted to tell.
You have no idea John, how much I love you! I softly said, just for his ears to hear.
As his lips kissed my forehead again, I knew love had stepped into our lives. When our eyes met again, they were filled with sparkles of joy.
Under the dark grey clouds, with raindrops falling around us like confetti, his lips found mine. My first kiss couldn’t have been more memorable as I fell into his arms.
Love since then has been shining in my life. John and I, always are together, sometimes as boss and secretary, sometimes as two crazy friends, sometimes as newly wedded couples and sometimes as tired sleepless parents.
Love can come knocking when you aren’t even aware if you’ve closed the doors. Love is something we take for granted, unless we fear losing it. So fall in love, show your love and stay in love forever!