So here I am, back with another part of Yours Truly! I really didn’t expect this to go on so long. But with the festival and other things, it has taken longer in terms of parts and also the time. Hope you all will enjoy reading this part too. I really wish I can bring it up, to a nice finish, leaving you all with a fun filled experience reading my ‘Yours Truly!’
These are the links to the previous parts for those of you who haven’t read them! 😀
******** Yours Truly! (9) begins… **********
The call was a total unexpected one and the caller was someone I just didn’t want to talk to. Somehow, somewhere along, I held this person responsible for my present situation. Even if he wasn’t totally in love with me, at least he was happy with me. I was happy with him. We were happy. As? Maybe not as a couple in love but as friends. But was that enough? Was it really enough. My mind was lost in those thoughts when the phone stopped ringing.
Relieved that the caller wasn’t waiting for me to pick up, I slowly went towards the dressing table to keep it. My eyes fell on the image reflected back by the mirror. I was red eyed, red nosed, disheveled hair and wearing some unmatched clothes. I was shocked that I was even walking and breathing. Then it struck me. Why? Why was I letting this man ruin me? Letting him ruin my life? Why was I letting him effect my family? It was I who was letting him rule the kingdom of my heart, while he was least interested in it. Was it his fault or mine? And only I could end this pain I was suffering.
Just then the phone rang again. This time I was ready to talk. I was ready to face whatever came my way. I had to stop crying and letting the dark clouds of heartbreak destruct my life and world.
Hello! I said, trying to control the weakness in my voice.
Hey Sandra! Are you there? She heard his voice. She wasn’t sure if she should be happy about his call or be mad at him for the torrential effect his entrance had caused in her life.
Yes Martin. It’s me here! she replied back.
Thank goodness you picked up the call. I’ve been trying to reach out to you. You didn’t reply to messages so I thought you were too busy. Is everything alright? the voice from the other side asked with genuine concern, she knew that.
Yes! Everything’s fine, she lied, Why did you call? It sounded rude but she did not care much as to how he would feel or react. She was too disturbed with her own emotions to think about how others would feel.
Well… I was just checking out if you’ll be there at the party in the evening, he stated with sheer honesty. I was hoping to meet you tonight.
Oh how the mention of the party made her breathing painful! How painful it was to hear about a party by and for John where she was non existent!
Uh! Actually I won’t be able to make it. I am away from town tonight. she uttered trying to stop her voice from breaking and giving away her lie.
But… Sandra…. I mean it’s John’s party. A big step for him. How can you not be there? I mean, I don’t understand. How did he allow you to go when you should be by his side tonight? he asked softly.
What do you mean Martin? she asked him as though denying it in front of him would change the fact that she was hoping to be by his side all through her life.
Now, stop behaving as though I can’t see it. Isn’t it all clear as crystal, that there is something more than friendship between the two of you? he replied. The coolness with which he stated it, made Sandra wonder how he had realized this while the man in question was all unaware.
No! No Martin! There is nothing like that, she retorted back. The lump of ache rose from her heart to her throat making it difficult for her to breathe or talk. Her quivering lips made it painful to move them to produce some sound. Tears flowed uncontrollably from her eyes, silently. She paused and took a deep breath.
I am being called, talk to you sometime later. Bye! Even before he could respond, she had disconnected the call. The mention of his names, the talk of her feelings was like probing deeper into her wounds.
It was more despairing for her to realize that a person she had met just once, had been able to know things. If it was all so visible and clear, why was John not able to see it? Why was he not able to feel those emotions? Was the cocoon he lived in so hard that he had become stone hearted? Was her love banging the wrong door, where she would get nothing in return? He was never going to realise it, and no answer was going to come to her. It added to her woes and she burst out crying.
Her knees buckled as she fell onto the floor. This time she cried out aloud. Loud enough for her mother to come rushing and take her in her arms. She hugged her mother, and cried. Hoping that with the flow of tears, her pain would be released from her heart and soul.
Sandra! Stop honey. Don’t cry baby. her mother kept rocking her in her arms and murmured the words to her, caressing her hair like she used to do when Sandra had been a young girl.
Just then, Dad entered and was shocked to see me lying there, in Mom’s arms. I was in a terrible state. And I was making it more terrible for them. So, when they said we are going to Uncle Rod’s place in the other town, I had no choice but to go along with them.
But would John and his thoughts stop tugging me? Would his aloofness while I cried for him, help me to get over with the feelings I had for him? Would this day end? And bring some peace while it ended into the gloomy night? Eventually, would that night then pass over and help me start afresh? Would I ever be able to let go of John? That John, whom I loved so much!!
P.S. Maybe this is shorter than expected. Trust me, I am trying hard! 🙂
Lots of love and warm wishes for all!