Getting quite longer than planned, isn’t it? I really need to learn how to show more with less words. 😮😮
Anyways, back to Yours Truly. I hope you are aware of the previous parts, this is now Part 7…. So….
Lights…. Camera…. Action!!
As the hours ticked away, I felt strange. Pain and sadness slowly subsided and worry started clouding my heart. The worry was how would John manage it all alone. I was always around him, sometimes as guest, sometimes as host. The day he had waited for, the party he was waiting to host, the dream he had planned to accomplish, and at that time, I wasn’t with him. Should I have stayed and helped him? Should I have remained in the office and resigned after the party? Had I been wrong?
Before I got swayed away by emotions, my mind played back the scene at the office. The way he looked at me, the way he showed no concern and feelings, the unattached and insensitive glare he gave me, all of them, made it clear that I would never get back anything in return, for the love I had for him. And all the concern of his party and his dreams snipped off my mind. I couldn’t have stayed there, for sure!
The day ended with not much said and heard at home. Mom had probably briefed Dad about it all, so he tried hard at dinner to cheer me up. I tried to join them in making it a light hearted moment, but all went in vain.
One of my office mates, sent me a message on WhatsApp, informing me that the party was on Saturday night. John had told everyone that I had gone due to some family emergency, thus messages kept pouring after office hours, where everyone kept asking me about the emergency, and leaving me messages of hope and good wishes.
Friday dawn brought memories of the days I used to race with time in the morning to bathe, eat and rush to office. But not today. Today, I was totally on my own. I had the time to crawl out of bed and bathe, to moan and grumble at the breakfast and go hiding in the room. Each time my eyes fell on the clock, I reflected what I would be doing if I were at office. And then, like a knife, pain struck me, thinking of what John would be doing at that hour. I wanted to hate John, but my heart wouldn’t find anything for which I could hate him. Even now, it seemed to side with him, reminiscing the time we both spent together.
There were beeps and LEDs sparkling from my phone. Notifications demanding my attention, but I didn’t want to know anything from anyone. Only once, I picked it up, hoping to see a mail or a message from John, but there were none. And it confirmed the thought running in my mind, that I was a ‘nobody’ for him. Truth. Bitter. But isn’t truth always bitter to accept. Yet, I had to, there was no way to disregard it.
I avoided moving out of the house. I had encaged myself, in my room. Only when mom or dad called me out for something, I stepped out and then at the nearest chance, I rushed back to my room. The day seemed never to end. Finally when it did, I was restless. The silence and gloominess of the darkness outside, was so much like me, from within.
Restless, I picked up my mobile and scrolled through the messages, again with hope. No message from John. I checked mail, nothing there too. Distraught at the way he had dropped me, least concerned about how I was and what promoted my resignation. As though I was like a flower pot, which while in its place, is a soothing view for the eyes, but when it is removed, it doesn’t make any difference in the environment.
Suddenly a notification came.
New message arrived
With a little hope and anxiety, I clicked it open.
Sandra, where r u? Called office, was told u didn’t come. Some emergency. What happened?
The little hope that had flickered in my heart like a flame, died a silent death, when I saw the message end with a single letter. “M“.
He called at office and he was told what everyone was told. No one still knew about my resignation. Probably John would tell it when he felt the right time and the right situation. At present, nothing was more important to him than his Dream Tie up.
I typed a short message for Martin, I didn’t want to talk to him or anyone else. So I just typed it up and sent it to him.
All fine. Hadn’t gone today. Occupied with prior commitment. C ya!
As soon as I pressed Send, the phone beeped in my hand. So soon?
Can talk? He asked.
No. Surrounded. I replied. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Any one!
Hmm. Party on Saturday. Got invitation. Lot of work? Take care. C ya! Bye!
I saw the message and dropped the phone on the bed. So he had received an invitation too for the party.
I lay my head on the pillow, trying to bar John from entering my thoughts. But it wasn’t possible, for he was running in my blood and was fixed in my memories. However hard I try, I knew I couldn’t get him out of my system, my heart and my mind. He will always remain the unfulfilled dream, the unforgettable love and the unattainable one for me!
And my love for him, would always remain, deep and strong. I knew it. And I had to live with it! For ever!
(P.S. Will John just let go of Sandra? Will Sandra go to the party? What does Martin want from her? 😯😯)