Sometimes, I sit back and stare at the space beyond me. I sit and watch all the people walk around, busy in their own thoughts and worlds. Their faces so weighed down by worries they hide within. Their eyes wide open yet they are like hidden treasures. What do they hide, unbeknownst to them!
What is this that I feel, even when surrounded by people? What is this feeling of incompleteness? Why are there laughing faces and happy smiles, but yet a silent solitude around me? Why is there a tear always on the threshold of my eyes?
Living alone or among many, being loved or unloved, being close or far from relatives or friends, all this has no relativeness to the feeling of loneliness. Loneliness, for me, is a state of feeling alone or a feeling of being lost! Living with family around, I may never feel alone, but there are times when I do feel lost.
Having beautiful people around me, I count myself one lucky woman. Then why is there this lost feeling? This feeling of being present yet unaware. This feeling of moving away from all, in a fraction of time and then back to the place from where you had departed.
For me, this is the time I start speaking to myself. The voices in my mind start conversing, sometimes among themselves, sometimes with me! They tell me what they see and do, they tell me what they feel and believe. They tell me so much, that when they leave and I return to reality, I miss them. I miss those soft whispers and revelations they make.
Am I insane or is it normal? I do not know. But, I enjoy this loneliness I share with the voices in my head. I love to know them. And these are usually the words that come out through me as a blog, as words typed via a keyboard. I wish I can make the stories some of them tell me come out, in a printed format. Some day, soon. Some day!
Til then, let me have those talks with them. Let me hear them out. Let me enjoy some more. Let me live in the other side of the world of my mind!