I lay in the cloth wrapped around me. The scent of medicines and the murmurs of the nurses reached my ears. They kept looking at me as I breathed my last. It wasn’t so hard but my fighting spirit wouldn’t let it happen sooner than it did.
I wanted to pass a message to my mother. My beautiful and lovely mother. I had heard God say that after Him, the creation who deserved to be respected and loved are parents. Specially, mother!
I wanted to let my mother know a few things. If only I could tell her. My message would comfort her.
I love you mother. I know it was a difficult thing for you to bear. I was so restless and made you too while I was in your body. I hurt you and took up all your energies. But that was the most beautiful time I spent with you.
I know mother, you will always remember me and love me. So will I.
You needn’t worry mother. I know how hard it was for you to take that decision. The decision to not give birth to me. I understand you mother. Rather I am happy about it. You might wonder why! Let me tell you the reason.
Since the time I was created, I asked God to show me the world He created for us. He wouldn’t agree. Then, soon I was told that I was to enter the world. I begged and pleaded and finally it was accepted. The human world was shown to me.
I was scared, mother. Too scared. And I was not willing to come. Your decision made my will come true.
Thanks mother. You might wonder what scared me! Well, I was scared by the people. I am a girl mother. I was scared that by my birth, you and father might have issues. I didn’t want to be the reason of your sorrow mother.
I wanted father to be happy to have me not worry about my education and marriage and dowry. I didn’t want to be a burden on him!
I was fearful mother. How many times and how many people would you protect me from mother? You would not be with me always, but that would add to your worries. Anxious from the time I leave home to the time I return. So many dangers around.
What if I was kidnapped? What if the neighbor uncle or his son raped me? What if I was stolen from your warm arms and sold in the world of frozen emotions. What if my soul was tarnished with the coarse hands of men in the trade? What if I became the next Nirbhaya? What if I am killed like the children of military school? What if I am shot like Malala? What if I am burnt alive?
You did right mother. You didn’t let me or you suffer. Its painful now for you I know. You blame father and grandma for being persistent for a boy. But its a relief to me too mother. You needn’t shed tears. I understand mother.
Instead of giving birth and then we both whimper in pain, this separation is easier to bear. I shall wait for you mother. I will wait for you in heaven.
And don’t worry. I will tell God that you didn’t do anything wrong. You did what your baby wanted. You removed me from your womb before I got too attached to you. But the last three months mother, were the best of my existence. I loved your voice, your sweet whispers to me, your caresses and your wishes.
Be happy always mother. And also tell father I love him too. He is the only man I loved in the little expanse of my life in your world.
Your unseen daughter
And then I lay still. My tiny body lay still. My soul, my spirit was with a beautiful angel. God had sent it down to bring me back to His kingdom. I flew away as quietly as I had flown in!
P.S.: This story is in context with the kind of belief and attitude in some countries regarding the birth of a girl child. Female foeticide is a crime yet it is being done! #SaveGirlChild